我的天，千万别说这句话！这个沉浸在悲痛中的人并不觉得一切是好结果，除非她的至亲能够复活。

　　Better – “It’s hard to understand why these things happen.”

　　不如说：“真不知道为什么会发生这样的事情。”

　　3. Not so good – Saying nothing at all.

　　3. 不要：什么都不说。

　　This is actually one of the worst things that can happen to a grieving person: having people ignore his pain. If you’re not sure what to say, or are uncertain that the person wants to talk about it, it’s okay to say just that.

　　周围的人忽视他的伤痛，这对伤痛的人来说可能是最坏的事情之一了。如果你不知道去说些什么，或者不确定他是否愿意聊这件事，那就直接说出来吧。

　　Better – “I’m not sure what to say but I want you to know I’m here for you.”

　　不如说：“我不知道该说些什么，你只要知道我一直都在你身边。”

　　4. Not so good – “He’s in a better place” or “Just be happy he isn’t in pain anymore.”

　　4. 不要说：“他去了更好的地方” 或 “开心点，他不再痛苦了。” These things are always so well-intentioned, but ouch! The place the griever wants him to be is with her, no matter how much pain he was in or how difficult the caregiving was.

　　这些话的初衷的确是好的，但是悲痛者还是希望至亲就在自己身边，无论至亲有着什么样的痛苦或者无论照顾起来是多么的麻烦。 Better – “You must miss him terribly.”

　　不如说：“你肯定十分想念他。”

　　5. Not so good – “I know exactly how you feel.”

　　5. 不要说：“我完全知道你的感受。”

　　This is very tempting to say, but be careful: Even if you have experienced a loss, each person has their own unique path to travel so you can’t know exactly how he feels.