毕福剑：老哥，这花都什么颜色?

　　赵本山：白的、黄的都有啊。很漂亮，真的。老百姓都拿笔等着，等得都哭啊，等你呢。

　　毕福剑：哭什么?

　　赵本山：这不激动吗，你去了。来吧，请......

　　毕福剑：咱去乡里吧。

　　赵本山：别介，乡里布置我，说先搁铁岭吃一顿，完事上那儿。你看吧。

　　(Bi Fujian, MC / anchorman of CCTV's Starlight Broadway program, enters.)

　　Shenyang Why, aren't you that one - Zhujun! Oh sorry. Bai Yansong? Oh no. Or a Bi something! Are you Mr. Bi?

　　CCTV Man I'm Bi Fujian.

　　Shenyang Come here everyone, it`s Mr. Bi here. (To CCTV Man) Why are you hanging out here, sir? Hurry up! Come here! He can go elsewhere at any minute.

　　Uncle Zhao Whut the hell's going on? Anythin' to be so fussy abut? You're being hounded by a wolf?

　　Shenyang He's Mr. Bi...

　　Uncle Zhao I know, an' he's the guest I'm honored to keep comp'ny today.

　　Shenyang Gosh, can I have a picture taken with you, Mr. Bi?

　　Uncle Zhao (to Shenyang) Wait, wait. (To CCTV Man) Welc'me, Mr. Bi.

　　CCTV Man Nice to meet you.

　　Uncle Zhao I've been waitin' all this time for you.

　　CCTV Man Thanks a lot really. May I have your name please?

　　Uncle Zhao Which man did you expect to see?

　　CCTV Man I'm looking for Zhao Tiezhu, chief of Lotus Township's cultural center.

　　Uncle Zhao You got it. Here's his daddy and I'm...

　　Yadar Zhao Tiezhu is my daddy.

　　Uncle Zhao An' I'm Tiezhu's daddy. Aren't you lookin' for a dad... I mean it's right to be looking my way.

　　CCTV Man Hi, daddy... I mean buddy. So where's your son?

　　Uncle Zhao He's at the township waitin' for you. Local government officials all lining up, too, to pay their pious respects to you. With enormous care they've prepared a great hall, a big room, with a large photo of you hung in the middle. Flowers all around.　　CCTV Man What're the colors of the flowers, buddy?

　　Uncle Zhao They're all in white and yellow. Lots of folks' waiting for you with signature pens in hands, tears spillin' all over.

　　CCTV Man Why's that?

　　Uncle Zhao They're excited.

　　CCTV Man Let's go there, then.

　　Uncle Zhao The center asked me to feast you here in town first. How abut that?

　　毕福剑：在这儿吃饭?

　　赵本山：这是铁岭最贵的，你来吧。

　　毕福剑：别别，大爷，不，老哥，我在飞机上吃了。

　　赵本山：那客随主便，好不好?给你怎么安排你就听话，来来。

　　小沈阳：毕老师，你不给照个相吗?毕老师。

　　毕福剑：你是男服务员?

　　小沈阳：嗯哪。

　　毕福剑：长得挺委婉的。

　　赵本山：我刚开始来就误会了，你说哪有这打扮，哎呀妈呀。坐，刚到是吧?

　　毕福剑：刚到，刚到。

　　赵本山：咱是老乡。

　　毕福剑：是吗?

　　赵本山：你不是大连人吗?